Training Disasters

With the plethora of self-help books available on dog whispering, cat training and TV shows with brilliant results in taming wild pets, you would think it simple to have a harmonious household of well-behaved pets. It has not been my experience; in fact, my attempts at obedience have been a total failure and often ended up with worse behaviour as a result.

Take Eric the Monster Cat as an example; desperate for a way to control the beast that had taken over our house, I watched every pet show and lifestyle program for solutions.  You would think with his pathological hate of water that Eric would respond well to the water pistol technique.  The principle was, as cats were adverse to water, they would cease the bad behaviours if they were squirted with a water pistol when caught in the act.  But all I ended up with was a very wet, very angry Eric doing exactly as he wanted and him adding another item to his list of reasons for taking revenge on his family.

Then there was Bruce. My first attempt of scolding him by raising my voice a few decibels above a whisper resulted in Bruce having an asthma attack for fifteen minutes. He was, luckily, better behaved than Eric, but that is not to suggest in any way that Bruce was a well-behaved, obedient dog.  In fact, I was so embarrassed by his behaviour at his first lesson at Obedience School that we have never returned for a second. 

The Obedience School experience didn’t start out well. Bruce was introduced to the whole assembly of members.  I didn’t even rate a mention.  Apparently, I was just the disobedient end of the lead.  The newcomers were herded into an enclosure and shown the basics in getting your dog to ‘sit’ and ‘come’ based on food rewards.  Some of the other members were disturbingly interested in the process – ‘control-freaks’ I thought unkindly. 

My assessment of Bruce, in comparison with the other dogs, particularly a Jack Russell pup, was that he was doing reasonably well.  He was resistant to the sitting part but with a bit of brute force and some treats, he got the idea.  He did not want to ‘stay’ in the one place or ‘heel’ when I walked with him, but I thought we could work on it.  The reason we couldn’t face going again came at the end of the lesson.

The instructor approached me. I thought it was to comment on our excellent level of achievement for our first lesson. I was brimming with self-confidence, only to have it dashed when she said in rather a serious tone, 'Do you realise that your dog has just relieved himself on your leg?' We my leg had been feeling slightly warm and moist, 'That's the second time during the lesson', she went on, ' that's very bad!' That was it! I couldn’t possibly show my face again at the Obedience School, having unknowingly allowed Bruce to disgrace himself and tarnish not only my reputation as a potential dog trainer, but my pants at the same time.

So from my experience, I’m not sure if you started with a crazy pet whether it is possible to train them into a sensible one. I also have a problem with programs that have pets literally jumping through hoops. But, I guess if I am honest, I would prefer a dog or cat with personality (albeit mad) than an animal is so trained (and restrained) that can defecate on cue.

 For more stories see my website – www.madanimals.com.au